Mindful observations.......

The mind is such a queer thing.... it can help u do wonders... n at the same time it can drive u insane.... all jus by mere thoughts.... the power of controlling your thinking.....

frankly speakin... i cannot control my thinkin... atleast not always.... Thats the main reason i hate watching horror movies.. its not the watching the movie part that scares me... its the after effects that torment me.. i kno its kiddish to give that as a reason at this age... bt hey the last movie i forced myself to watch was 'exorcism of emily rose'... to this day i dread(tho now the intensity has decreased considerably) the time - three am... it may sound funny.. but thinkin on the lines of a girl sleepin alone.. wonderin wat would happen if the spirits or devils attacked her at that time... ( hey this actually sounds weird to me, now that i actually put it into writing.. :D).. iv sworn against horror movies since then... wel that wl b until i can build up enuf courage to c another one... i did the same wen i watched omen- the one with the crows... u can guess - i used to jump at the sight of crows/the sound of cawing...

wel thats about horror... getting to the gud things of letting ur mind wander... hav u ever felt stark resemblences between your current situation and your past????????? something like uv been here already. done the same thing? met the same people??had the very same conversation???? thoughts jus strikin u out of the blue.. then gone the next instant?????........ this may sound queer.. but comin to think of it... its funny.. logically... its not possible.. y wld v b doin the same thing at the same place with the same people again and again????????? coz life is all about repetition/relativity???????? maybe......

its only now and then that i relate to relativity.... tho i kno people who can gobble up all possible books on the topic... my mind works like this - gimme a simple example - explain the concept briefly( instead of makin me read pages and pages), i get the point... and can relate better.....

my own observations on the said topic (very basic, very simple, veryyyyy common)..when i was a kid.. i used to think, when compared to my height at the age of ,say, ten or twelve.. that my cousin, ten years my senior,... was six feet... in other words veryyyyyyy tall... it was only wen i grew up and i realized that relative observations makes ALL the difference in opinions... my cousin is hardly five feet five..
When in mid school, when i was in the eight standard it think... i somehow got my hands on the book.. Jane Eyre - by Charlotte Bronte.... has been my favourite since....the last time i read it would hav been wen i was in the tenth.. after that i managed to get the book only now.... call it age or maturity or thinkin.... but i found much much more to the book than that i could remember... my childhood interpretations of the book formin ONLY the base for a much more mature understanding of the characterisation provided.......... the thing that i cld remember of the book was that it was a story of an independent woman who beat all odds for the luv of a man who was much older than her.... only while reading it again.. do i c dat there is more to the character of the Jane Eyre than that... more complexity in her character than jus the independent streak... right from her childhood
(hey these r jus my observations... )

its funny how the lamest excuse can prevent u from doin things if ur mind is not set to do it... bt if u can convince ur mind on dat, den even the most herculean tasks seem soooooooo simple......

Next Stop????.

y am i bloggin? coz im bored? or to chk out wat da heck is der IN bloggin dat so many ppl r into it?......... whichevr it is. i LIKE it.. i used to feel dat pennin down one's feelin for others to read is like layin urself out bare.. bt NOW i realise. dat its not DAT bad to write abt ur feelings.. rather u get to think more abt urself.. mmm not in da self indulgent way tho.. bt self improvement way wld explain it better i suppose...

Its been quite some time since i was introduced to blogs. bt nvr got d time nor d interest to start bloggin as such... guess everythings gotto happen in its own time.. i repeat Everythin....

Jus like dis one thing dat keeps hauntin me... where next? wat next? how? tho d harder i try to get myself to answer those q's the tougher it is to accept wat happens.. Bt hav come to terms with one thing.. "all dat happens, happens for a reason".... yeah yeah its tough to keep dat in mind ALWAYS.. been der...bt stilll.. im tryin..... Have to keep remindin myself abt dat.. every now n den.. bt most times i forget.. n by da time i recollect myself.. da damage has been done.... ppl around me wonder y i get soo grumpy.. grouchy.. for no reason at all... n u kno wat? dat attitude is contagious.. it spoils da whole atmosphere.. oh.... for da times id do ANYTHING.. to go bak to.. n do it over again...Bt do it rite dis time..

Der hav been times wn iv compared myself with others n felt soooo damn frustrated wit wat i was, as opposed to wat de wer... de seemd to kno wer they wer goin.. or atleast da next stop.. bt i was absolutely clueless(not dat im any better now)... actually still am clueless... once in a while try to get some clarity der.. bt go bonkers since i REALLY dunno wats in store for me... yeah rite i gotto plan... like wat? its not Dat easy... believe me...

i used to think dat true frndship is all abt bein TRUE to ur frnd's.. bt dats not "always" applicable.. mayb in fa fa land.. bt not in dis world.. learnt it da hard way.. bt a gud lesson it was..der was a period wen i thgt if dis is wat true frndship is al abt, den it sucks.. i still do think such frndships r best ditched... tho now iv gotten myself to accept things bit more liberally.. b true to those who r true.. n b as true as possible to those who r NOT true to u..Fortunately in da process did manage to get hold of some really gud frnds...

Too much of anythin is not gud.. n yeah givin anybody TOO much importance in ur life can b a bit of a negative.. evn da smallest things end up spoiling large portions of ur life....well.. bt der r ALWAYS exceptions...

Am tryin to accept things as de come.. and understand dat i need not compare myself wit others.. de r not gonna live my life.. I AM... so i live it da way I want to(umm.. within my constraints dat is)... Hopefully.. think im onto da first step...